Let me kick off by saying a heartfelt thank you to each one of you for the replies I received to last month’s email, “For when things get tough…”. I was genuinely inspired by the remarkable spirit of resilience that so many of you have shown in the face of difficult challenges and struggles. You have no idea how much you strengthened and encouraged me to deal with my own challenges.

The 3 AM Audit

A few days ago, I came home from work exhausted and fell asleep unusually early. By 3 AM, I was wide awake. I wasn’t in the mood to get on my laptop, and when I tried to read, my brain just wasn’t in the mood for that either. So, I lay there in the dark as my mind began to wander. Somehow, I went back in time to when I was 25, remembering the lofty goals and grand plans I had. I started thinking about how things have turned out now that I am 44. And the big question that hit me was: what did I actually do with my life during those 19 years?

The Playback

My life started playing like a movie, beginning with the exuberant young man who had just completed his education, full of plans and unwavering zeal. Scene after scene kept rolling as I moved through the years. And as I watched, I kept seeing one big mistake after another. In every single year from age 25, I could count at least one misstep that has affected me to this day.

Some I made out of:

• Indecision: like when I had a golden opportunity to move to New Zealand and hesitated.
• Greed: when I lost my entire savings by liquidating all my investments, trying to quadruple my money through a risky stock purchase.
• Laziness: when I missed the deadline for a key job that could have changed my path.
• Inexperience: far too many of these to list just one example.
• People-pleasing: when I told a few lies so that I wouldn’t look bad to certain people, which backfired on me later.
• Impatience: which meant I gave up too quickly on some very good opportunities.

I could go on and on. But the biggest source of my mistakes, the one that ran through almost all of them, was fear. It came in different forms: fear of asking for help, fear of getting out of my comfort zone, fear of speaking up at the right time, fear of the unknown, fear of ridicule etc.

The Epiphany

At one point, lying there, I asked myself, “Could it have been possible for me to have experienced a ‘mistake-free’ life?” Obviously, as imperfect humans, none of us can live life without making mistakes. I noticed that for years, right up to this day, I have struggled to let go of the past. For a long time, there were two particular mistakes that I carried with so much regret, and they impacted me very negatively.

In the stillness of that dark room, I asked myself, “Why am I still carrying this load?”

I told myself, “Yaw, you did what you did. It’s in the past. You can’t change it, and you can’t go back to correct it. The only thing you can do is let it go.”

I don’t know how to explain it, but in that moment, I felt light. It was as if a heavy load had been lifted off me. I felt free. And then a humbling thought struck me. I realised that years ago, I had literally written in my first book that “Mistakes Are Part of Life” and that we should embrace them. Yet, here I was, letting two of my own mistakes cause me so much harm for so long. It’s a profound experience to realise you need to take the medicine you once prescribed for others.

I still remember those mistakes, but I have let go of the grief, the regret, and the burden they placed on me. Now, I wear my mistakes like battle scars—signs that despite all of them, I have come through. I can take the lessons and journey forward. On that dark, sleepless night, I made two decisions:

1. I will no longer let myself feel guilty about the mistakes of my past.
2. My biggest mistakes were due to fear. I will remember this and be as courageous as I can in every situation.

The Chapter I Needed to Re-Read

In the spirit of that realisation, I wanted to share with you the very chapter I wrote all those years ago. It lays out a simple, four-step process for handling mistakes that I clearly needed to relearn myself:

1. Acknowledge them.
2. Reframe and analyse them.
3. Try again, but differently.
4. Review your progress.

You can read the full chapter for free here.

Your Turn

So, my dear reader, I ask you: Do you have “that mistake” that you just can’t seem to let go of? Have you been able to overcome the past and allow your mistakes to make you a better person?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.